my master has been telling meWhisky Portrait
about the seven deadly sins
i think i m very good at them

sloth is my speciality
i can lie around for
hours doing nothing
and often do

gluttony i m excellent at too
i love my chicken and pork and duck
and egg and bones to chew on

i can do wrath
sometimes when i see a workman outside
i bark at him until my master comes
and says shhhh and holds my mouth closed
if he d let me i d bark a lot more

greed well you can never have
too many frogs to kill
funnily enough this morning
i was taking my early morning constitutional
when a frog jumped out of the bushes
he startled me
otherwise i wouldn t have
let him get away

when you re as good looking as me
you re bound to be full of pride
just look at the picture

envy well i envy dogs that
have more frogs than me
i bet really rich people
have whole rooms
just full of frogs
to chew to death

the only sin i didn t understand
was lust but my master says
i shouldn t worry about that one
and muttered something about
a visit to the vet

anyway 6 out of 7 sins
is pretty good don t you think



07. July 2011 · 1 comment · Categories: Whisky

a couple of days agoWhisky Portrait
my master had to adjust a strap on my harness
he said it was because i was getting fat
i m just big boned
and i do wish he d stop calling me greedy
i just have a healthy appetite
earlier today i was scratching madly at my collar
i think my master must have put it on wrongly
but he said it needed to be let out a notch
because i d put on weight

yesterday i was playing with my master
in the garden
i was teaching him how to
kill the frog by throwing it
he didn t do a very good job
at one point the frog ended up
over the wall in the next door garden
he says there was a sudden gust of wind
right like i m falling for that old story
i wasn t born yesterday
it was rather piquant though
seeing him trot around to the neighbours
and come back bearing a lime and orange frog
with the stuffing falling out of it
whilst the building workers looked on

today i finally managed to kill the frog
it s a tough job but someone has to do it
there were frog innards
all over the place
of course i tried to deny it was me
but my master had the evidence

Whisky & frog
Whisky & frog
Whisky & frog




Now, I’m not a big fan of democracy. However you try and fiddle with the system – first past the post, single transferable vote, alternative vote plus, additional member – the results will be unsatisfactory because the unwashed masses simply are too poorly educated and/or stupid to make decisions based upon the common good and vote purely in their own selfish interests. It was greed that got Margaret Thatcher, more commonly known as “that evil bitch-monster from hell”, re-elected not once, but twice.

The results of American democracy are even more farcical. Look at recent Republican presidents: Nixon – a crook; Ford – a bumbling incompetent; Reagan – a B-movie actor and buffoon; the first Bush – a blood-thirsty warmonger; the second Bush – an idiot, blood-thirsty warmonger. And now you have the likes of Palin and Bachmann jostling for the White House – ignorant, bigoted morons the pair of them. How could anyone in their right mind consider voting for them? That they are even being considered as candidates makes the USA the laughing stock of the world. And it’s this system of American democracy that Uncle Sam is trying to foist upon the rest of the world!


Thai democracy is little more successful. Pheu Thai scored a major victory for the Red Shirts yesterday. As always, people looked to their own self interest rather than to the good of the country. Pheu Thai’s policies are little more than a series of bribes:

  • a free iPad for every student
  • a minimum wage of 300 Baht for all workers (currently it varies by province from 151 to 206 Baht)
  • a 15,000 Baht monthly starting salary guaranteed for all first-time graduate employees (that’s approximately double the current starting salary for a teacher)
  • 20 Baht flat fares on the skytrain and metro
  • cheap apartments along skytrain and metro routes
  • ten new train routes connecting Bangkok to nearby provinces
  • a high speed train link to the north east (where most of Pheu Thai’s supporters hail from) and on to Chiang Mai (another Red Shirt stronghold)
  • help for people with debts of more than 500,000 Baht, including a 3 year repayment freeze
  • the creation of 100,000 new jobs
  • rice mortgages at 20,000 Baht/2,000 litres for Jasmine Rice (way above current market prices) – a little less for other kinds of rice
  • credit cards for all taxi drivers and motorcycle taxis

Others policies stretch credulity to breaking point:

  • illegal drugs eradicated within 12 months
  • building a twin city for Bangkok
  • building a dam around Bangkok to prevent floods

All of this will cost a lot of money, and how all this will be funded is something that Pheu Thai has been curiously quiet about. It’s not going to be from big business, because Pheu Thai has also promised to cut the rate of corporation tax from 30% to 23%.

Of course, Pheu Thai won’t be able to follow through with all its promises, so today’s Shoe cartoon from America seemed particularly apposite:


The only policies you can be 100% sure of are that Thaksin will be given an amnesty and that his confiscated billions will be returned to him.


04. July 2011 · 1 comment · Categories: Whisky

a new neighbour moved in Whisky Portrait
a few days ago
he s really lowering
the tone of the neighbourhood
his master lets him run loose
on the streets during the day
and he likes to stand at his gate
barking at anything that moves
so uncouth
anyway i was outside
for my early morning toilet
and there he was barking away
i wasn't going to poo
with that racket going on
so i went back inside
and poo d on the staircase
it reminded me of the song
robin the frog
he s kermit s nephew

half way down the stairs
there s a stair where i shit

my master tells me these aren t the real words
but we dogs have very good hearing you know
what do you think


actually i hate frogs
my master gave me two
it was really really hard work
biting and shaking one of them
until its stuffing started to fall out
my master helped me to kill one of them
he put it in the washing machine
with my blanket and towel
now it doesn t croak when i bite it
so i m pretty sure it s dead
now i can concentrate on chewing the other one

unlike frogs staircases i love
the bottom step is particularly tasty
i think my master wants to keep it for himself
he s always tells me to stop
when he sees me chewing it
it has taken me days of
surreptitious biting
to make much of a dent in it though

anyway i ve been awake for
almost an hour
so it s time for me to go for a lie down