i think i ve rather disgraced myselfWhisky Portrait
a few mornings ago
i was patrolling the garden
looking for frogs
when i saw a strange man
walking past the house
he was bald and wearing sandals
and an orange wrap around dress
well that wasn t usual
so i barked at him to scare him away

how was i supposed to know
that s what a monk looks like


as you all know
i m a bit of a gay icon
thanks to my incredibly good looks
i even have my own gay stalker
he still comes around
from time to time
to gaze longingly
at my fine masculine physique

i appreciate the loyalty of my fans
i was therefore disturbed
to learn recently that
a dog is going to be executed
for being gay

the newspaper didn t use the word

it said put down

put down
put to death
bumped off

they all have the same end result

it seemed particularly unfair
because they don t put down humans
for loving somebody with
the same shaped naughty bits


master tells me that
in countries such as sudan
mauritania nigeria somaliland
saudi arabia united arab emirates
yemen and iran
they do kill you for that

and in lots of other countries
they send you to a crate for
a very very long time

that s not so good


when you spend as many
hours a day asleep as i do
you can become bored
with your sleeping positions
so it s important to try new ones
here s one that i ve been
working on lately

Whisky sleeping

however i rather think
i could take lessons from this chap

I think my dog is broken

he s a real expert



Sleeping Doberman photo shamelessly stolen from from Reddit which has a lot of very funny comments (and a few rather rude ones).