last night he told me a story
about hansel and gretel

it s a story about children
who found a house made of candy
who were then kept in a cage
and fattened up by an evil witch
so they could be eaten

well i m kept in a cage
and my house is delicious

the stairs are really tasty

and the concrete skirting boards
aren t bad too

as for the fattening up
the vet tells me i ve put on
almost 2 kg in the last fortnight
two weeks ago i was 5.8 kg
and yesterday i was 7.75 kg

the vet also tells me i ll
probably weigh about 25 kg
when i m fully grown

let me see
2 kg a fortnight
by the end of the year
i should be fully grown
by then the frogs won t
stand a chance
that is if my master
hasn t eaten me by then