yikesWhisky Portrait
i m being stalked by a gay dog

it all started yesterday
during my afternoon constitutional

i met a miniature poodle in the street
we exchanged the usual pleasantries
we rubbed noses a bit
then i sniffed his bottom
and he sniffed mine

i think he must have misunderstood
my civilities or perhaps
was thrown by my rakish good looks

a little later the love besotted creature
turned up in my garden
he d squeezed in through the railings

master realised i was being hounded
by the rogue hound
so he picked him up and
he peed on him
that is to say
the poodle peed though i d
have been more impressed if master
had peed on the poodle

master phoned security
it seems this crazy canine is notorious
for roaming the streets

unfortunately the dog s master
wasn t at home
so i had to go to sleep
by the front door
with my psycho stalker
on the other side
images of jack nicholson
in the shining
haunted my doggy dreams

and when i work this morning
the deranged dog
was still there

i guess i now know how
jodie foster felt



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