the new puppy is turning out Whisky Portrait
to be a big disappointment
to master
i hope he takes her away soon

master was hoping to get rich
by selling her pure
he knew that puppies poo
several times a day
whilst i only poo twice
regular as clockwork i am

anyway this puppy can
go a more than a day
without pooing

he s become so desperate
he s taken to rubbing her
with a wet cloth to push
the pure out of her

don t know why he bothered
with the cloth he should lick her
like my mother did to me
when i was young

she s also useless
when it comes to
killing frogs

master put a training frog
into her cage

what did she do

use it as a pillow
that s what

And the puppy shall lie down with the frog

And the puppy shall lie down with the frog

i know they say
the lion shall lie down
with the lamb
but the puppy
lie down with the frog
it s not natural

she s not even a
moderately talented artist
doesn t even have the skill
to shred a piece of kitchen roll
just drags it around the room
in her mouth


how much longer will master
put up with this waste of fur




29. August 2014 · 1 comment · Categories: Rye

I thought it might be a good idea to find a companion for Whisky, and at the same time get another dog off the streets and into a good home.

A friend learned of a litter of 10 puppies living on an industrial estate close to the side of the road. There was every possibility that some of them would get run over.

Mother and litter

Mother and litter

An attempt was made to relocate the litter and mother to a safer area. However, mother had different ideas, and took them back, one by one, to the roadside.

It really was important that the puppies be adopted if they were to be safe, despite their only being 3 weeks old and not yet weaned. (Puppies should normally be separated from their mothers at around 3 months old.)

But which one to pick? They all look so cute.

Pick of the Litter

Pick of the Litter

I left that to a friend who picked her from the litter, took her to the vet for a check-up, and then brought her home to me.

To be honest, there’s more than a little guilt in making the choice. I’d said I wanted one of the spotty ones, not a plain white one. I wanted a puppy, rather than adopting an adult dog. I was making choices based upon appearance, cuteness, which seems wrong.

That was a week ago today. Since then I’ve been bottle feeding her every three hours, though now she’s also started to eat semi-solid food. Every day I see a change. She ranges further around the house. She’s learnt how to climb up a small step between kitchen and sitting room. She’s learned to run and how to bound over objects. What she hasn’t yet learnt to do is to poo regularly. I sometimes have to rub her with a warm, wet cloth to stimulate her, as a mother would do with her tongue.

The only dark cloud (other than sleeplessness) is that Whisky doesn’t like her (yet, I hope). He mostly ignores her when she’s in her crate, but will come and growl at her if she’s outside. He’d almost certainly attack her, given a chance. A few days ago he bit me on the arm whilst making a frenzied attempt to get at her. It’s the first time he’s bitten me since he was a puppy, and the first time he’s bitten me not by accident. (Once he bit me on the big toe and drew blood.)

And today I heard the good news that all 10 puppies have now been adopted.

master must be very disappointed with meWhisky Portrait
i think it s because
he found a large frog
when he was gardening
it was in the long grass
i didn t see it

of course he s right to be cross
killing frogs is my responsibility
i m really very good at it

anyway master doesn t appreciate
my efforts and how skilled i am
in the fine art of frog dispatching
so he brought another dog
into the house

New puppy

to be honest
i think it ll be a few months
before she s any good
at killing frogs

she s only 3 weeks old
never killed a frog
in her life in fact
all she s ever done is
live at the side of the road
sleeping playing with her siblings
and suckling on mother s teats
no frog warrior she


on reflection there may be
another explanation

master s getting greedy

he wants more pure
to sell to the tan yard

silly master
if he wants more pure
he doesn t need
to get another dog
he just needs to feed me more
i m perfectly happy to eat
all the stinky cheese and
foie gras he can give me