usually he only goes
for an hour or two
and comes back with
a bag of meat
or a stinky bone

this time he was away
for four weeks
it wasn t a very successful trip
i think he caught a deer
but on the way back
he ate almost all of it
all that was left for me
was a short length of antler
to chew

there s a siberian husky
that gets rather frantic
whenever i pass her gate
i d thought that she was
an art lover and that
she gets overexcited
when she sees me
the world s greatest living artist

who am i kidding
i m the greatest artist of all time

anyway when i was taking master
for a drag she managed
to squeeze between the bars
of the fence and she attacked me
i guess she must be a rival artist
jealous of my enormous talent
what she failed to take into account
in her misguided attack
was that i am
not only a magnificent artist
i am also a fearless frog warrior
in fact i was just about
to deliver a killer blow
when her mistress s maid came
and pulled her off

i was only pretending to be losing
to lull her into
a false sense of security
she had a lucky escape

whisky