Postcards from Thailand

The choice of buses from Chiang Rai is staggering, from clapped out wrecks cooled only by broken fans to VIP buses with airline business class-like seats and in-seat service. Needless to say, I decided to treat myself to the VIP option. For less than 5 pounds for a three hour trip it seemed like a bargain. Indeed, the trip was very comfortable – if it weren’t for the TV screens playing a selection of karaoke songs and Thai comedy programmes. (There’s nothing less funny than a Thai comedy. They’re so pathetic that they beat a drum at every punchline so that you know when you’re supposed to laugh – you wouldn’t know otherwise. The regular parade of supposedly stupid, obese women, shrieking katoeys and midgets is sickening.)

The hotel turned out to be both a delight and an horror. It was a charming boutique hotel in the Chiang Mai old city, close to many of the main attractions.

The rooms were attractively furnished in dark wood against light walls with a few Thai motifs. The bed was enormous with more pillows than any reasonable person could need and an attractive swag of brightly coloured Thai silk across it. Most agreeable.

So impressed was I by the hotel that I decided to take dinner in one of its two restaurants. I had some very tasty Vietnamese fresh spring rolls followed by a local curry and rice. I suspect that the term “fresh” with the spring rolls was a misnomer – at least with respect to the prawns within, for at five in the morning I was faced with a serious dilemma as to which end of my body I should position over the porcelain. So intense was my vomiting that after an hour or so I was bringing up blood and my muscles all over were aching. Needless to say I was out of action for a couple of days.

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In Thailand there have been 39 occupations which are restricted to Thai nationals only. My life-long dream of becoming an alms bowl maker or crafter of Thai dolls will sadly go unfulfilled. Never will I be able to create shoes or hats, or forge a knife. Cutting gemstones is forbidden to me, as is making lacquerware and bronzeware. I can never be a farmer or taxi driver, nor can I weave mats or make a paper parasol. And to this catalogue of unfulfillable dreams you can now add “beggar”. The Thai government has resolved that only Thais can be beggars.

A government spokeswoman is reported as saying that “passing the legislation into law would help the authorities get rid of the large number of foreign beggars in the country”.

In future beggars will be required to prove to the local authorities that they are suitably needy, carry an ID card with them at all times and get a work permit.

Of course, such legislation is the obvious way of dealing with the desperate, the mentally ill, the impoverished. So much better an idea than introducing any sort of social welfare for the destitute.

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I often see large millipedes on the pavement, perhaps 15 cm long, glossy black, with rippling rows of legs. They’re pretty harmless, unlike the local centipedes which are highly venomous.

Researchers, however, have recently discovered a new poisonous millipede here in Thailand which goes by the alluring name of “The Shocking Pink Dragon Millipede”. It’s about 3 cm long, very spiny, and it smells of almonds, the result of the hydrogen cyanide it produces for self-defence. It’s also (as the name suggests) bright pink. So deadly is it that it rests in the open, unafraid of predators. Indeed, its colour is almost certainly aposematic.

Here’s a picture of two of them making baby millipedes. The male is on top.

[Photograph from H. Enghoff et al. (2007), The shocking pink dragon millipede, Desmoxytes purpurosea, a colourful new species from Thailand (Diplopoda: Polydesmida: Paradoxosomatidae), Zootaxa 1567, pp.31-36]

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A few months ago I visited Phanom Rung, a 12th century Khmer temple situated on top of a hill in the north east of Thailand. (My original Postcard is here.) Last week something awful happened there: the temple was vandalised. A large number of naga (mythical serpent) balustrades were smashed, as was the Nandi figure (the bull vehicle of the Hindu deity Shiva), two singha (mythical lion) figures and a couple of guardian statues. The Shiva lingam (stylised phallus) at the heart of the temple was moved from its yoni (female private parts) and turned to face the opposite direction.

Naga balustrade at Phanom Rung

Nandi figure at Phanom Rung

Guardian figure at Phanom Rung with Shiva lingam in background

There was apparently some sort of black magic ritual performed before the vandalism – a plastic glass of water and three cigarettes were found as well as candles and incense sticks – though the purpose of the ritual is unclear. One theory is that the ritual was to counteract the effects of a previous ritual performed by the current government at the site. Another is that the ritual was associated with the production of amulets.

The local people are stunned. Many of them were involved in the 10 year restoration project for the temple back in the 70s. They can’t believe that anyone local would do something so terrible. One of the archaeologists who worked on the original restoration said “I never thought that I would have to restore this temple again, especially as a result of vandalism. The feeling is so much different. The 1971 restoration work was conducted because of natural causes, but this time it is the work of a group of ill-willed people.” The site – like many similar sites in Thailand – was woefully poorly protected. The budget only allowed for three security guards to be employed to cover what is a large area.

Restoration will be swift – probably about a month – but the shock will take longer to fade.

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