It’s well known that war is all about old men (or, as in the case of Mrs. Thatcher, old women) sending young men to die. And sometimes in war many young men – too many – die pointlessly because of the crass ineptitude of their leaders. However, even in peacetime that leadership can result in meaningless deaths.

Back in February 2010 I wrote about the GT200 bomb scanners that the army had purchased. They didn’t work at all. They were just a meaningless box of wires which performed no function whatsoever. If the salesman had claimed “nothing is better than the GT200” he’d have been right. Then the news about the devices dried up. I’d assumed that the GT200s had quietly been taken out of use. How wrong I was. The matter has recently resurfaced because of an investigation into the purchasing of the devices. (And it’s almost certainly not a matter of whether there was corruption involved or not, but rather the extent of the corruption.) The devices are still in use. Supreme Commander Thanasak Patimaprakorn is reported as saying recently

“[I] have seen the effectiveness of GT200 detectors in finding explosives.”

The Defence Minister, Sukumpol Suwanatat, backs him up

“The GT200 bomb detectors, which are used in the far South, do work and they have detected explosives many times.”

Of course, this is utter nonsense. As the Bangkok Post put it

“It is easy to understand why the military would be reluctant to give up the device. It is lightweight, very portable and it can be used from a distance, allowing the user to stay out of range of dangerous explosives. The only problem, of course, is that it doesn’t work.“

And so more young men are going to be senselessly blown to bits by the terrorists in the South because the old men in charge are either too stupid to understand the irrefutable evidence that the devices are completely useless, or have something to hide.

[618]

The island of Phuket is one of Thailand’s most popular tourist destinations. It’s also an over-priced, mafia-run hell hole.

One of the worst problems there is with transport. To get from the airport to your hotel or guesthouse you must use one of the mafia-controlled taxis – some licensed, others not, which charge an arm and a leg for a short trip (approximately six times what you’d pay in Bangkok). Then at your destination you’ll probably need to use a tuk-tuk if you want to explore, and that’ll be extortionate too. Hotels can’t provide a shuttle service and nobody is willing to incur the mafia’s displeasure by running a public bus service to and from the airport, or minivans between the different beaches. Not so long ago drivers blockaded the port so that ship passengers couldn’t be taken on private tours and had to use the mafia taxi service. They’ve also blockaded US warships for similar reasons. Curiously enough, taxis in Phuket have a special sticker, which is believed to show that they’ve paid their under-the-table dues to the local police.

Then there are the scams, the most popular of which is the jet ski scam. A tourist hires a jet ski without noticing that it is slightly damaged. Upon return he (or she) is charged a ridiculous amount to fix the “damage” the he is alleged to have caused. Going to the police does no good – they’re in on the scam, too. They’ll just tell you to pay up. And if you don’t, physical violence will be used, or guns drawn.

Then there are the dirty beaches, degraded natural areas, ugly, uncontrolled development and building upon supposedly protected land.

Add in the handbag snatchers and all the murders and rapes as well as the rather strange propensity for foreigners to go flying from their balconies and the police always deciding it’s suicide however much evidence there may be to the contrary, well Phuket isn’t a very pleasant place.

However, the Royal Thai Police have just come up with a brilliant scheme to improve Phuket’s image: a media blackout. Because of the blackout nobody is going to hear about the young Australian woman who was attacked outside her hotel a few days ago by a taxi driver who intended to drag her into his nearby cab and rape her. Thankfully a Japanese man saw what was happening and came to her aid, but we’re not supposed to know that either. On the plus side, the police have already arrested the would be rapist and he has confessed. The woman, it appears, is OK. The Japanese hero, however, needed 15 stitches to his face.

[615]

When one thinks of Thailand one might think of elephants, golden temples, beautiful beaches, elegant dancing girls and the spicy food with its wonderfully fragrant, soft Jasmine rice.

The Pheu Thai government is doing its best to ruin one of these icons.

One of the government’s headline policies in the run up to the general election last year was to guarantee to buy Hom Mali (Jasmine) rice at 20,000 Baht/tonne, and other white rices at 15,000 Baht/tonne – about 40% above the then current market price. This sounded great to the farmers, and was yet another great way to buy votes. The subsequent election was like turkeys voting for Christmas.

The scheme works with local millers storing the rice, and the government then trying to sell the rice on the open market. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, the price of Thai rice is now about $170/tonne above similar rices from Vietnam and India, so overseas sales have fallen dramatically. (Sales fell 41% in the first two months of this year.)

Vast amounts of rice are being stored and going stale. In a year or two they’ll only be fit for the pigs. And storage doesn’t come cheap.

Millers have been mixing the Jasmine rice with cheaper rices. Initially they started by mixing the Jasmine rice with Patum Thani rice, which is also fragrant. Now Patum Thani is in such short supply that they’ve switched to non-fragrant long grain rices, including rices smuggled from neighbouring countries. This adulteration has already badly damaged the reputation of Thailand’s premium rice.

So, sales have been slashed, and the international reputation of Jasmine rice has been trashed, but still, the farmers are better off, right? Uh, no.

Some farmers are receiving only 9,000 Baht/tonne because they don’t have a truck to transport the rice to the rice mill, and have to take whatever price they’re offered by the miller.

Most farmers don’t have the equipment to dry the rice to the necessary level of moistness, so are offered low prices by the millers, who do have the necessary drying equipment.

Farmers depend upon the millers to weight the rice, and the scales can be rigged.

And there are other forms of corruption.

Millers can sell off the mortgaged rice, yet still continue to receive money from the government for storing the rice. They then buy rice to replenish their stores when the government calls the rice in. The inspectors who are supposed to monitor the rice in storage are, shall we say, not incorruptible. Or they may simply be shown a token storage amount of good rice.

Another scam is to take already mortgaged rice and then resubmit it as newly mortgaged rice, thus receiving double payment.

This scheme was always designed to benefit a select band of middlemen – not the farmers. And the cost so far is estimated at 260,000,000,000 Baht ($8.2 billion) – $188 for every man, woman and child in the country. (The cost estimate is from the Commerce Ministry.)

The Thai government is committed to continuing the scheme.

[606]

The front page headline in this morning’s Bangkok post declared that Lady Gaga had arrived in Bangkok in a private jet. Not being acquainted with her, I asked a young friend who she was. It seems she’s a chanteuse. My first reaction was that this was a pretty rum job for a member of the British aristocracy. Then I suspected a rat when my friend told me that she is, in fact, American. It’s absolutely clear from Debrett’s that foreigners, including colonial types, can not use English titles. It’s rather when Bob Geldof was given a knighthood. (I understand, again from my young friend, that he’s a popular entertainer who used to beguile audiences with his troupe of performing rats.) He wasn’t entitled to call himself “Sir Robert” because he was (and, I presume, still is) a Fenian. It does appear that “Lady” Gaga’s claim to the aristocracy is fraudulent. It is therefore most regrettably that the Thai authorities are unaware she is an impostor. Those in Malaysia were more on-the-ball and banned her.

If her misuse of a title weren’t enough, her rather vulgar “tweets” have shown her to lack the refinement of a true lady. (I understand from my young friend that a “tweet” is rather like an office memo with cc’s, but sent via Telex, rather than on paper.) Her first “tweet” read:

“I just landed in Bangkok baby! Ready for 50,000 screaming Thai monsters. I wanna get lost in a lady market and buy fake Rolex.”

One is left speechless.

[605]

The Greeks had a word for it, and that word was δωροδοκία; the Thais apparently didn’t have a word for it, so borrowed the English word “corruption”, only slightly mangling the pronunciation and adding a few tones.

The funny thing is, to someone raised in the West, corruption is all about secret deals done in smokey back rooms with dodgy handshakes, all kept very hush-hush. In Thailand, however, the blatancy of much of the corruption is almost laughable.

One recent case (of many, many, many) which springs to mind is the decision of the new government to buy a new iPhone and iPad for every member of parliament. Now, let’s forget that most MPs already have a mobile ‘phone, and some may lack the technical nous to use a tablet. The budget allocated for the purchase of the devices was 25% more than the retail cost of buying the absolute top of the range devices in both categories. The excess was undoubtedly destined for somebody’s pocket.

Another case was the estimated cost for building a few kilometres of elevated walkway. The estimated cost was, per kilometer, more than three times the actual cost of a similar, recently completed project. (And that project itself was almost certainly cost-padded for the benefit of someone or other.)

However, the recent actions by Bangkok governor MR Sukhumbhand almost defy belief. (MR are not his initials, they are rather a designation that show him to be of royal decent. He’s actually a great grandson of King Rama V.) Now, as governor of Bangkok there are plenty of issues to be addressed, from the dilapidated state of the pavements to, oh, I don’t know, the omnipresent corruption in official contracts. But rather than address any of these important issues, he decided that his priority was to extend the contract for running the Skytrain for a further 17 years until 2042, even though the current contract still has 13 years left to run. And he didn’t bother with anything so tiresome as a competitive tender. One can only applaud his advanced planning and forward thinking.

I had cynically assumed that MR Sukhumbhand had extended the contract apparently rather prematurely because he was a little short of cash and needed an instant kickback, and given that he’s shortly up for reelection, he needed to line his pockets now, rather than risk not being able to do so later. But a little chicken tells me that it’s not the governor who’s in line for a bumper payout: it’s a Mr. Big, who’s just gotten a little bigger.

[603]

The case of Ah Kong, or Uncle SMS as he’s commonly referred to, is shocking in many ways.

What is known for sure is that an assistant for former Prime Minister Abhisit received four text messages which insulted and (reportedly) threatened Her Majesty The Queen. The text of those messages has not, however, been made public.

What is also known was that Ah Kong is barely literate (he scraped a living as an odd-job man) and he claimed not to know how to send text messages.

What appears to be the case is that those four messages came from his ‘phone, though that is not a 100% certainty; the ‘phones ID could have been faked on the messages.

What is definitely not known for sure is who sent the messages.

Despite the apparent lack of certainty in the evidence, Ah Kong was sentenced to 20 years in prison under Thailand’s draconian lèse majesté laws. Not a great outcome for a sick old man, his body riddled with cancer.

His lawyers made eight applications for him to be released on the grounds of ill health, and so he could receive medical treatment. Each was refused. Apparently a poor, sick man dieing of liver cancer is considered a “flight risk”.

The courts considered his condition “not yet life-threatening” and that “the prison infirmary could meet his medical needs”.

When he recently complained of stomach pains he was given a handful of painkillers. Only three days later was he admitted to the infirmary. It didn’t meet his medical needs, and he promptly died.

***

It’s a bitter twist to think that if he hadn’t appealed against his sentence, he could well have been granted a royal pardon long before now, and he could have spent his final weeks or months with his grandchildren and loving wife, rather than locked up behind bars.

 

[602]

On February 8th our fragrant lady Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, was spotted heading upstairs in the Four Seasons hotel. The businessman who spotted her secret visit whilst sitting in the hotel’s coffee shop was attacked immediately after she left, though that obviously is a coincidence. After all, people get beaten up and have a gun drawn on them in five star luxury hotel coffee shops all the time.

When the news leaked out some smutty minds thought she might be having a secret tryst when she should have been appearing in parliament. (Though not legally married, she lives in sin with a man and has a son by him.) When it was further revealed that there were actually seven men there with her in the hotel room, the same smutty minds leapt to the obvious conclusion that she has a Snow White fetish. Kinky!

Two weeks later the Prime Ministeress revealed the truth on her Facebook page: she was having a meeting with prominent business executives. She made it absolutely clear that the meeting was not in the slightest unethical, and certainly didn’t involved any conflict of interest, and most definitely did not in any way shape or form concern the valuation of land to be used as floodways or water retention areas, which is good.

So far the only businessman who has revealed he was at the meeting is the President of Sansiri, a major real estate developer that happens to have built lots of moobaans on the floodway to the north and east of Bangkok and which could potentially be very badly affected by the government’s flood prevention plans.

I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence, but since the end of last year the Sansiri share price has risen 61%. (For comparison, the share price of Land & House – a very similar company, but without heavy investment on the floodway – has risen 10%. The SET index over the same period has risen 12%) No hint of dodgy dealings here whatsoever.

***

During last week’s televised parliamentary debate Deputy Prime Minister Chalerm appeared unsteady on his feet, slurred his words, had a flushed face, and repeatedly harangued the leader of the opposition. One MP rushed to the outrageous conclusion that he was drunk – though the fact the she thought he smelled of booze might have prompted her in the direction.

When he sobered up Chalerm later explained that he suffered from an inner ear condition which made him unsteady on his feet. So that’s all right, then.

His response to the scurrilous accusation of his having been three sheets to the wind has been to start legal action against seven newspapers and a couple of opposition MPs. He said “I am not trying to intimidate the press. I am only preserving my rights.” So that’s all right, too.

[597]

Late last year a gang of thieves broke into the house of a civil servant, Supoj Saplom, whilst he was attending his daughter’s wedding. They were rather surprised to find sacks of cash all over the place – an estimated total value of somewhere between 700 million and 1 billion baht (that’s £14.6 to £20.9 million). They weren’t equipped to steal such a large sum, so just grabbed what they could and fled the scene.

Supoj initially claimed that just one million Baht had been stolen, though later changed his story to say it was his daughter’s sinsot (bride price). It seems a little strange though that more than 17 million Baht has been recovered from those gang members who have so far been arrested.

It also is a little strange that the bands on the notes recovered apparently relate to money for certain state railway projects, and Supoj just happens to be Permanent Secretary for Transport.

On investigation, it turned out that his personal bank accounts had about 20 million Baht (£420,000) in them, but Supoj claims that this was money he received for working overtime. (It seems civil servants are surprisingly well remunerated.)

The panel charged with investigating Supoj’s surprising riches has now decided to abandon its investigation, being unable to determine the source of his wealth.

There are a number of possible explanations for what happened. The following spring to mind:

  1. There never was all that money, and he was set up by someone bearing a grudge
  2. He was “looking after” the money for someone more powerful the he
  3. He has the sort of friends who can influence the outcome of official investigations.

Whatever the truth, it all looks rather fishy.

And the fact that the investigation has been closed down after only three months suggests that the government isn’t all that interested in tackling corruption – so no surprise there.

[596]

There was a news story that caused me to draw me up short. It concerned a woman who had tried to steal from a donation box at Wat Kasattrathirat Worawihan in Ayutthaya. It’s a temple I know well; I used regularly to drive through it on the way to a favourite riverside restaurant. The shock, however, wasn’t so much the crime, but the woman’s circumstances. Her husband had left her. She had lost her job due to the flooding. And she was seven months pregnant – so no one would employ her and she had looming medical bills. She also has a ten year old son to look after.

It made me think of the old woman in a cheap polyester dress who used to scavenge through the dustbins at my moobaan in Ayutthaya. It made me think of the mentally ill man, skin grained black with dirt with long, matted hair, who wanders along Sukhumwit Road wearing home-made trousers – nothing more than a couple of rubber flaps tied together – with his behind hanging out. It made me think of the couple, clad in rags, who sat outside 7-eleven begging day in, day out.

There is no state provision here to care for the most desperately needy in society. If you don’t have family to fall back on. If you can’t root your way through garbage to find plastic bottles and paper to sell. If you have nothing, then robbing a donation box might be your only option.

The woman was caught red-handed. The temple’s abbot, with true Buddhist compassion, decided to let her go free.

But still, like the poorest and most vulnerable in society, she’s still living without any safety net.

***

It’s not only Thais who can end up in dire straights. There are at least two westerners living on the streets of Bangkok. One is clearly mentally ill and has long, rambling conversations with himself. The other lives under a pedestrian overpass, though somehow manages to scrape enough money together for beer and cigarettes. And there’s an elderly gentleman who has senile dementia. His wife and family have found his increasingly cantankerous attitude unbearable and have abandoned him. He lives alone in an apartment, unable to care for himself.

Needless to say, the embassies of the countries these people are nationals of have done nothing to help.

***

Coming from Europe, where everyone has a right to be looked after, from cradle to grave, I find the lack of any social support rather shocking; there it’s a given that you’ll have free access to medical treatment, free education and some sort of state-provided income if jobless. Surely the way a society looks after its weakest and most vulnerable is its true measure. Perhaps if I’d been born American I’d have a different viewpoint, given that in the world’s richest country it’s still possible for people to die for lack of access to medical treatment and millions go to bed hungry*, a place where 38% of Negro children and 35% of Hispanic children live in poverty**. Still, you wouldn’t want the obscenely wealthy there to pay a little more in taxes to help the poorest and most desperate in society. That would be socialism.

* In 2010 14.5% of Americans were food-insecure at some time during the year. Source: http://www.ers.usda.gov/Publications/ERR125/
** Source: http://www.npc.umich.edu/poverty/

[592]

In Thailand it’s not unusual to see children working in restaurants – some looking as young as 4 or 5. They, presumably sons and daughters of the owners and staff, take orders and deliver food, sometimes late into the night. Not a great situation, but far worse happens behind the doors of garment factories and seafood processing plants. It’s not unusual for 11 and 12 year olds to be working 12 or more hours a day. (That’s below legal minimum working age of 13 – but enforcement of the law is lax.)

Thailand is on a US watchlist because of its child labour situation. The government’s response has been to draft a list of dangerous work. It includes:

  • Working night shifts between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m..
  • Working in a slaughterhouse
  • Working on scaffolding above 10 metres. (It’s apparently OK for a child to fall from 9 metres as it will bounce.)
  • Working on a fishing trawler

It’s rather horrific to think that there must be children doing these things if the government needs to include them on a list – not that the list will make any difference to these children’s lives whatsoever. (Living in Thailand makes one very cynical about the police when it comes to suppressing crime. They’re excellent at running illegal gambling dens, taking bribes, and extorting money, though.)

What is rather strange, though, is that the Thai government appears to be concerned about what the American government thinks. After all, the Prime Minister last month appointed Nalinee Taveesin to the Cabinet, even though she is subject to US sanctions for facilitating gem trading, real estate transactions and financial transactions for the Mugabe regime.

[590]