On February 8th our fragrant lady Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, was spotted heading upstairs in the Four Seasons hotel. The businessman who spotted her secret visit whilst sitting in the hotel’s coffee shop was attacked immediately after she left, though that obviously is a coincidence. After all, people get beaten up and have a gun drawn on them in five star luxury hotel coffee shops all the time.

When the news leaked out some smutty minds thought she might be having a secret tryst when she should have been appearing in parliament. (Though not legally married, she lives in sin with a man and has a son by him.) When it was further revealed that there were actually seven men there with her in the hotel room, the same smutty minds leapt to the obvious conclusion that she has a Snow White fetish. Kinky!

Two weeks later the Prime Ministeress revealed the truth on her Facebook page: she was having a meeting with prominent business executives. She made it absolutely clear that the meeting was not in the slightest unethical, and certainly didn’t involved any conflict of interest, and most definitely did not in any way shape or form concern the valuation of land to be used as floodways or water retention areas, which is good.

So far the only businessman who has revealed he was at the meeting is the President of Sansiri, a major real estate developer that happens to have built lots of moobaans on the floodway to the north and east of Bangkok and which could potentially be very badly affected by the government’s flood prevention plans.

I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence, but since the end of last year the Sansiri share price has risen 61%. (For comparison, the share price of Land & House – a very similar company, but without heavy investment on the floodway – has risen 10%. The SET index over the same period has risen 12%) No hint of dodgy dealings here whatsoever.

***

During last week’s televised parliamentary debate Deputy Prime Minister Chalerm appeared unsteady on his feet, slurred his words, had a flushed face, and repeatedly harangued the leader of the opposition. One MP rushed to the outrageous conclusion that he was drunk – though the fact the she thought he smelled of booze might have prompted her in the direction.

When he sobered up Chalerm later explained that he suffered from an inner ear condition which made him unsteady on his feet. So that’s all right, then.

His response to the scurrilous accusation of his having been three sheets to the wind has been to start legal action against seven newspapers and a couple of opposition MPs. He said “I am not trying to intimidate the press. I am only preserving my rights.” So that’s all right, too.

[597]