All that I know about George Carlin is that he’s a dead American stand-up comedian, and he had a famous monologue “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television”. If he were still alive the monologue would be somewhat shorter, for it seems that one four-letter word beloved of the coprolaliac is now acceptable on the airwaves.

A few days ago I was watching a quiz show on the BBC and one of the contestants told a joke along the following lines:

“A few days ago I went to a Zoo. They only had one animal – a dog. It was a Shitzu.”

Though Lord Reith would undoubtedly not have approved, any perceived humour is in the mind of the listener. More objectionable is the explicit use of the obscenity in popular music. In the space of a mere quarter of an hour, whilst listening to the wireless, I heard the word used repeatedly in three songs – not bleeped out. The offending and offensive oeuvres were:

Jason Derulo, “Solo”: “Now I got my s**t together, yeah”.
(It appears that collecting and organising coproliths is a hobby of his.)

David Ghetta, “Memories”: “All the crazy s**t I did tonite”.
(Not only can’t he spell, he defecates in the evening. Fascinating. The fact that his faeces are insane is a little disturbing, though.

Travis McCoy, “Billionaire”: “Adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had s**t”.
(Singing about constipated newborns. Equally fascinating.)

Of course, it’s not just the crude language that I find offensive. Other songs have quite inappropriate content. Whilst impotence is for some a serious problem, and for some penis size is a cause for insecurity, neither is a subject I want to hear Rihanna singing about on the airwaves:

“Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up?
Come here rude boy, boy
Is it big enough?”

Is it a song you would even wish your wife or your servants to listen to?

“Quamdiu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia?”


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