there was something rather strangeWhisky Portrait
when i dragged master yesterday evening
i saw there was a frog
in the middle of the road
it looked like it was dead
of course i had to check it out
master was obviously afraid
and tried to drag me away from it
but i needed to be absolutely sure
it wasn t alive
frogs can be very devious you know
playing dead and all that
the strange thing was
that it was squashed flat
another strange thing was
it was outside the house with
too many pomeranians
though to be honest
even one pomeranian is too many
i m absolutely certain
that no pomeranian
has the finely honed skills
to be a frog killer
though possibly their incessant yapping
could send one deaf
it remains a mystery to me


master thinks he s quite clever
but there are a lot of things
he doesn t understand
for example he doesn t understand
why when he comes home
i have to pick up one of his sandals
run around a bit
and then drop it

and he doesn t understand why
i like to nose my way
through his laundry basket
and pick out a sock
which i ll carry around for a bit
in my mouth

he also doesn t understand why
i like to lick the chrome legs of his desk

he s also clueless as to why
i like to pick up one of his sandals
in my jaw
shake it vigorously for a few seconds
then toss it away

then he has no idea why
i like to grab sponges
from the kitchen worktop
or from the bucket
as he washes the car
and chew them to bits

he s also in the dark about why
i like to chew the wallpaper
off the wall

and he doesn t know why
i like to lick soap bubbles

and he doesn t know why
i love to chew hosepipe connectors

silly master

totally clueless


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