earlier this month Whisky Portrait
the people came together
and rejoiced for it was
the 3rd annual whisky day
celebrating the day
i decided to leave
the side of the highway
to come and protect master from frogs

master was very kind to me this year
he gave me stinky blue cheese for breakfast
it s my favourite kind
and chicken

master says i m not
very well trained for
a three year old dog
i don t think he understands

when he says sit
i first have to check whether
there isn t something more important
to do such as
scratch my ear
or chase a fly

and when he says home
i have to think whether
i d prefer to carry on
sunbathing or chewing a stinky bone
or go inside

and anyway master isn t very well trained
when i sit next to the cupboard where
he keeps the whisky treats
sometimes i have to wait five or ten minutes
before he gives me one
can t he even remember that he s
supposed to give me one immediately

i m still upset that master doesn t give me
anything for all the pure i produce
i ve now discovered that he doesn t
take it to the tan yard himself
people come in a big noisy
truck and collect it once a week
from where he leaves it
along with the rubbish

i tried to negotiate with
the tan yard workers
and barked at them
to get their attention
through the gate
they just ignored me
sometimes life s so unfair

i know that some people are skeptical
that master is making a lot of money
from my pure but it s true
i saw him looking at a website saying
turn dog poo into gold

anyway the rainy season has started
and there are a lot more frogs around
a couple of days ago master disturbed
a really big evil one
when he was cutting the grass
he does that to make it easier
to find my pure
he was lucky i was there to save him
but then that s my job

happy whisky day to one and all



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