master was very kind to me this year
he gave me stinky blue cheese for breakfast
it s my favourite kind
and chicken

master says i m not
very well trained for
a three year old dog
i don t think he understands

when he says sit
i first have to check whether
there isn t something more important
to do such as
scratch my ear
or chase a fly

and when he says home
i have to think whether
i d prefer to carry on
sunbathing or chewing a stinky bone
or go inside

and anyway master isn t very well trained
when i sit next to the cupboard where
he keeps the whisky treats
sometimes i have to wait five or ten minutes
before he gives me one
can t he even remember that he s
supposed to give me one immediately

i m still upset that master doesn t give me
anything for all the pure i produce
i ve now discovered that he doesn t
take it to the tan yard himself
people come in a big noisy
truck and collect it once a week
from where he leaves it
along with the rubbish

i tried to negotiate with
the tan yard workers
and barked at them
to get their attention
through the gate
they just ignored me
sometimes life s so unfair

i know that some people are skeptical
that master is making a lot of money
from my pure but it s true
i saw him looking at a website saying
turn dog poo into gold

anyway the rainy season has started
and there are a lot more frogs around
a couple of days ago master disturbed
a really big evil one
when he was cutting the grass
he does that to make it easier
to find my pure
he was lucky i was there to save him
but then that s my job

happy whisky day to one and all

whisky