Postcards from Thailand

In Bangkok, at Sanaam Luang, the large, open ground near the Royal Palace, about 300 people sleep rough every night. The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration (BMA) isn’t too happy about this. You might have thought that they’d be investigating how the problem of homelessness in Bangkok can best be resolved. They’re not.

In the district of Paak Khlong Talaat the traffic congestion is terrible. You might have thought that BMA might be investigating ways to relieve the choked streets. They’re not.

Now, Paak Khlong Talaat houses Bangkok’s largest flower market, so the BMA’s “solution” to both these problems is to turn Sanaam Luang into a flower market. With all the land covered by flower stalls the homeless will have to find somewhere else to sleep, and there’ll be less traffic in Paak Khlong Talaat.

There are a few problems with this apparent stroke of genius:

• Sanaam Luang is used for ceremonies and other official functions several times a year, so would need to be completely cleared for these
• The traffic around Sanaam Luang is already heavily congested. A flourishing flower market could only make it worse
• How will the merchants at the existing market cope with the extra competition?
• What will happen to the homeless?

It seems that the heady floral aroma has already affected someone’s senses.

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A young boy in Thailand is an absolute whiz at making paper aeroplanes. It’s his great passion in life. So good at it is he that he won the Thai national competition in 2008 and was invited to compete in the international Origami Airplane competition at Chiba, Japan.

You’d like to think that Thailand would celebrate its young people who excel. However, 12 year old Mong Thongdee (หม่อง ทองดี) was deemed a “threat to national security” by the Interior Ministry and was denied papers to travel. You see, Mong had the misfortune to be born in Thailand to migrant labourers from Myanmar and is considered a stateless person.

Mong Thongdee – a treat to national security

It took the personal intervention of the Prime Minister to persuade the Interior Ministry to change its stance, and Mong has now been granted a temporary passport so he can take part in the event. And, all being well, he’ll go. And I hope he does well for Thailand.

A boy of his skills could perhaps, in the future, be a great engineer or designer. However, Thailand will never benefit from his special talents. He’s on the list of stateless people to be repatriated to Myanmar on 28 February next year. There he and his family will face the tyrannical oppression of the junta faced by others of his ethnic group – a tyranny close approaching ethnic cleansing.

Sadly, this tale will have no happy ending.

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This morning I left early, around 6:30 a.m., to get to an hospital appointment. It’s not much fun taking nil by mouth from 8 p.m. the previous evening, so I like to let the vampire nurses drain my blood early in the day. Ten minutes later I found myself stationary. Two and a half hours later I’d not moved. There I was, hungry, thirsty and marooned in a sea of cars. What could possibly have caused this praeternatural chaos? It appears that the rain last night totally overwhelmed Bangkok’s drainage system; 44 areas of town were flooded. The one which was causing my own personal traffic hell was some 8 1/2 km away. I can only imagine the extent of the chaos behind me on the road.

According to Bangkok’s mayor, they can only handle 60 mm of rain, and last night more than 100 mm fell. This resulted in a major junction being flooded to the staggering depth of 10 cm. Quite why this should have totally immobilised traffic for several hours is a mystery. Why the police did so little (a.k.a. nothing) to redirect traffic is also a mystery.

Here’s a ‘photo from Thai Rath newspaper showing the offending flooded intersection:

“And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.”

Genesis 7:19 – King James Version (1611)

The weather forecast is for more rain tonight.

Now, where can I find myself some gopher wood?

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Elephants are notionally banned from city streets – not that that stops them. (Perhaps they can’t read the signs.)

Unfortunately, the streets aren’t a safe place for a baby elephant, as the following picture shows:

He was eventually rescued unharmed.

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Though having left the UK for good I can’t fully escape the clutches of the UK tax man. Unfortunately, the services provided to non-residents are shoddy (at best). However, they seem to have hit a new low.

Some time ago I sent them a message asking whether or not they had received a form from me. The response included the phrases:

“acceptable levels of customer service while dealing with your enquiries”

and

“We aim to provide a reply within 15 working days”.

Needless to say, they didn’t reply within 15 working days. And when I eventually got a reply, it read:

“Unfortunately, i will not be able to advise you if we have received your claim. We currently have a delay of 14 weeks in processing the R43 forms. Hence, it will not be possible for me to look for your claim. If you have not heard anything in say two and a half months please contact us again.”

(And yes, note the lack of a capital “I”.)

So, it’s take four to five months simply for Hector to say whether or not he has received a form. Goodness knows how long I’ll have to wait to receive the money he owes me.

Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs? She should hang her head in shame.

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It’s important that one knows one’s place in society. To that end Thailand must have one of the more comprehensive system of titles. The following is vastly simplified.

At the top of society is HM The King and his wife, and then his children who bear the title Jao Faa (เจ้าฟ้า).

The grandchildren of a King can bear the title Phra Ong Jao (พระองค์เจ้า).

The next generation: Mom Jao (หม่อมเจ้า).

And then: Mom Raatchawong (หม่อมราชวงศ์).

And finally, at the 5th generation, Mom Luang (หม่อมหลวง).

The child of a Mom Luang is a commoner, but can append “Na Ayutthaya” (ณ อยุธยา) to his surname to indicate royal descent.

Thus, for example, one knows that a former Prime Minister, M.R. Kukrit Pramoj, (M.R. being Mom Raatchawong), was a fourth generation descendant of one of the Kings of Thailand (in his case, King Rama II).

Before the 1932 revolution there were a lot of other titles designating aristocracy, but all were abolished, except for two titles for women – Khunying (คุณหญิง) and Thaanphuuying (ท่านผู้หญิง) – both of which are non-hereditary. However, rather than honouring the woman’s achievements they usually honour her husband. Thus the Prime Minister’s wife will usually become a Khunying (provided her husband stay in office long enough!). The wives of the top members of the military are similarly honoured. Such an honour is apparently not available for the wives of the country’s greatest scientists, academics, sportsmen, writers et al.. It seems that only the wife of a military man has the necessary aristocratic credentials.

The Police and the Military have a host of other titles but, unlike in other countries, the titles are kept after leaving service, so the newspapers still refer to Police Lieutenant Colonel Thaksin Shinawatra, even though he quit the police force more than 22 years ago. This isn’t a particularly high rank, but the question of its being stripped on account of his alleged behaviour remains very controversial.

Every interchange in Thailand requires a conscious decision about the relative status of speaker and listener. It dictates the choice of every pronoun. Am I superior or inferior to the person to whom I’m speaking?

When Indonesia was seeking a language to unite its speakers of a myriad of mutually unintelligible languages it considered Javanese, which had the greatest number of native speakers. However, it rejected Javanese because it has a system of pronouns which denotes relative status. It chose a language which was more democratic, Malay, despite the lack of native speakers. Thus, just as the English language united the Indian subcontinent, so Bahasa Indonesia (as it became to be known) united the Indonesian archipeligo.

Much as we in the West reinforce sexual roles by selecting “he” or “she”, “his” or “her”, in Thailand the language reinforces social status and perhaps, just perhaps, is part of a barrier against social mobility and against social equality.

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